Why does self-kindness in depression trigger more self-hatred aggression?

When in a depressed mood, the act of extending kindness to myself causes aggression of self-hatred and inner criticism. The expressions seem like a curse and the session is torture. I fear that this phase is currently aggravating my depression. Is there some other method--say of beginning with a loved one or a neutral person--which would enable me first to accumulate my emotional resources? My name is Zoya, born on 19th June 1996. Time: 8:45 PM. Location: Chandigarh.