Why meditation control rule rebel binge outburst?

Another method of control, meditation, infuriates a part of me. It is like telling myself yet another strict rule, and with this, I feel the need to rebel, almost like a teenager. This will power is so hard that, more than once, it causes me to binge immediately after a session, because of an outburst of rebellion against my own disciplinary efforts. The meditation fails as it is cast in terms of limitation. This sphere of control sparks an internal desire to be independent, and now my relationship with food is even more fraught and emotionally charged than before. Name: Zara Khan DOB: 14th October 1995 Time: 8:20 PM Location: Lucknow