Why weight buffer fortress vulnerability intimacy hurt?

In meditation I envisage my body as a fortress. The weight seems to me like a buffer zone which I have constructed either unconsciously or consciously to cushion myself against the vulnerability of intimacy and the susceptibility to being hurt or rejected. The idea of becoming deprived of this is horrifying. It is not simply fat, but a defense mechanism of the physical type. Name: Rahul G. DOB: 25th December 1989 Time: 11:50 PM Location: Delhi